Biscuit Dough Ear Plugs

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“Sideshow Bob’s Last Gleaming” season 7, episode 9

Things have been a bit nuts with the book coming out, but it’s time to get back to work. There are countless foods in The Simpsons after all, and life is short. So let’s make biscuit dough ear plugs!

In this classic Sideshow Bob episode, the Simpson family is preparing to attend the Springfield Air Show (“take that Doctor Sally Wexler!”) and Marge has baked up some homemade ear plugs. Bart’s nemesis escapes from his prison work detail and steals a bomb, announcing that if the town doesn’t get rid of TV, he’ll blow them all to kingdom come.

After a Dr. Strangelove-style meeting, Springfield’s leaders decide it’s best to abolish TV. Lisa and Bart end up trapped on the base but the clever kids (Lisa) figure out where Sideshow Bob is hiding—in the helium blimp. Meanwhile, Krusty manages to get back on the air, monopolizing the air waves. Bob detonates but the bomb is expired and full of rats.

Lisa alerts everyone thanks to the blimp’s giant neon sign and Bob tries to escape with Bart in the Wright Brothers plane (which single-handedly won the Civil War) and, per usual, fails.

Ear plug time! While I don’t recommend sticking these in your ears (I obviously tested them out and they do happy to fit perfectly), they’re weird and fun tiny, tiny biscuits! They make a surprisingly good snack. Or use this recipe to make, you know, normal-sized biscuits. You do you.

THANK YOU, LISA SIMPSON

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Biscuit Dough Ear Plugs
Inspired by King Arthur Flour’s recipe

1 cup all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon cornstarch
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon salt
About 1/2 cup heavy cream
2 tablespoons sour cream
2 teaspoons salted butter, melted

  1. Whisk together the dry ingredients in a small mixing bowl.
  2. Stir in the sour cream and 1/2 cup heavy cream, adding a little more cream if needed to create a dough that holds together. Don’t over-mix.
  3. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and pat into a round 1/2-inch thick.
  4. Trim a boba straw with scissors so it is about 2 inches tall. Cut the dough into rounds using the straw dipped in flour. You may need to use the fat end of a chopstick to poke the dough out. Stand up on a parchment-lined baking sheet, poked side-down.
  5. Repeat until you have enough ear plugs and gently brush with butter.
  6. Place the baking sheet in the freezer while the oven preheats to 425°F.
  7. Bake for 5 to 8 minutes until golden brown. Let cool before sticking in your ears.

Note: You can also make this dough into regular biscuits! Pat into a 3/4-inch tall square or rectangle and cut into 4 or 6 biscuits. Chill then bake for about 20 minutes.

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