The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

“Separate Vocations” season 3, episode 18

If you’re looking to get creative with your cooking but don’t want to fry a stupid amount of bacon to make an I Love You Breakfast, make a cute smiley face instead. Your family will love you for it—or gobble it all up without noticing.

At school, Bart and Lisa take the CANT test to learn about their future profession. Surprisingly, Lisa gets homemaker (“I might as well be dead!”) and Bart gets police officer. Lisa’s predictably unhappy with her results and she visits some sort of music expert to find out if she has what it takes to be a professional sax player. While she plays beautifully, he declares her unfit for the job thanks to her inherited stubby fingers.

Bart goes on a ride-along with the best and brightest of the Springfield police force. They end up chasing Snake in his sports car sporting an EX CON vanity plate and, during Act II: Death Drives a Stick, Bart narrowly escapes death. He’s sold on joining the force and Chief Wiggum gives him Eddie’s badge.

Marge tries to cheer up Lisa and show her that she can still be creative while being a homemaker, hence the smiley face breakfasts (that Homer and Bart inhale without a second thought). She tries a different tactic and tells her about how Patty and Selma discouraged her from being an astronaut and she predicted moon colonies. Lisa is unmoved.

She joins up with the bad girls at school as Bart gets appointed as hall monitor, sash and all. He does such a good job he gets his choice of confiscated paraphernalia and Mr. Glasscock is able to come back to teach (for now). Meanwhile, Lisa is being the bad one for once and steals all of the teacher’s editions.

Skinner and Bart search all of the lockers and Bart finds them in Lisa’s locker. He takes the blame and saves Lisa’s hide, and in return she plays the sax for him while he serves one of his 600 days of detention.

Show everyone your artistic side with this cute as can be breakfast! All you need are a couple of fried egg eyes, a parsley nose, bacon mouth, and toast ears.

Smiley Face Breakfast
Makes 2

2 thick slices bacon
2 teaspoons oil (or bacon grease)
4 eggs
2 slices sandwich bread
2 fresh parsley leaves

  1. Add the bacon to a large, cool skillet in a single layer. Place over medium heat. Cook until crisp and flip, crisping both sides. Drain briefly on a paper towel.
  2. Meanwhile, heat a large nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add the oil or bacon grease to the pan.
  3. Once hot, crack the four eggs into the pan, separating them and making sure to keep the yolks intact.
  4. Cook until the whites begin to firm up, a minute or two, and cover the pan with a lid. Decrease the heat to medium-low and cook just until the egg whites are cooked through but the yolks are still runny.
  5. If desired, toast the bread. Slice into 4 triangles.
  6. Arrange on 2 plates with the eggs as eyes, parsley as a nose, bacon as a smile, and the bread as ears.
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