The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

“Treehouse of Horror IV” season 5, episode 5

Üter Zörker is one of my favorite occasionally recurring Simpsons characters largely thanks to his insatiable love of candy. I can relate, even if I don’t enjoy salted licorice and flavor wax as much as he does. Today’s recipe comes courtesy of Üter’s sweet stash and perhaps my favorite Treehouse of Horror episode!

“The School Bus” (AKA The Ghoul Bus) is a storyline ripped directly from The Twilight Zone and recreated only as The Simpsons can. “There’s nothing scarier than having to go to school!” After Bart has a nightmare of his own horrible, fiery death, he sees an actual gremlin on the side of the bus—no, not that car being driven by Hans Moleman, an actual gremlin! When he announces it to the bus, no one else sees it and they think Bart’s being “deceptive.”

Principal Skinner comes to put a stop to Bart using his imagination, pulling down the window shade. Bart’s obsession drives Milhouse away and he moves to sit with Üter who is pigging out on Vengelerstrassebars and Marzipan JoyJoys (mit iodine!).

Meanwhile, the gremlin is unscrewing the wheel but no one believes crazy Bart. He gets the window open and the air pressure goes nuts like an airplane (wink and nod to “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet”). The gremlin ends up in front of Flanders’ car and the bus barely stays in one piece as it pulls up at school. They still send Bart to the loony bin and, as the ambulance drives away, the gremlin appears out the window holding Ned’s chipper severed head.

Marzipan JoyJoys! These are ohne iodine unless you use a pinch or two of iodized salt, but they are truly delish. You have the option of making your own marzipan (surprisingly easy!) or using the pre-made stuff. Regardless, be an Üter and share them with a friend.

Marzipan JoyJoys

1 cup almond meal or almond flour (made with blanched almonds)
1 cup powdered sugar
1 to 2 tablespoons fresh egg white
1 teaspoon almond extract (or more to taste)
1 pinch salt
4 ounces semi-sweet or dark chocolate

  1. Add the almond meal and powdered sugar to a food processor. Pulse until completely combined.
  2. Add the egg white (starting with 1 tablespoon), almond extract, and salt. Process until thoroughly mixed and a paste forms, scraping down the sides as needed. If the mixture is too dry, add up to 1 tablespoon of more egg white. If it becomes too sticky, add more sugar and almond meal. The mixture will firm up more as it chills.
  3. Turn out onto a clean surface and knead a few times until it comes together. Form a thin log about 1 foot long and wrap in plastic wrap. Chill for an hour.
  4. Slice the log into 1/2-inch slices and smooth the edges to form nice circle candies.
  5. Melt the chocolate using 30-second bursts in the microwave or over a double boiler, stirring until completely melted.
  6. Place a slice of marzipan on a fork and dip into the chocolate. Let the excess drip off and place the candy on a parchment-lined baking sheet. Repeat with remaining marzipan.
  7. Chill the candies in the fridge until set. Store any leftovers in a container in the fridge for up to a week.
  • If raw egg whites weird you out, you can use pasteurized egg white.
  • Replace some or all of the almond extract with vanilla or rosewater for a different flavor.
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