The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

“The King of the Hill,” season 9 episode 23

The time has come! It’s time to scale the Murderhorn and make our last recipe from season 9’s “The King of the Hill.” To read the rest of my coverage of this classic episode and see the other recipes, check out Deviled Eggs, Bucket of Ice Cream Covered in Miniature Pies, Spaghetti Bar, and Flapjacks in Oil (in that order).

On to the climax of the episode. Homer ignores his father’s warnings and, after much fanfare thanks to his sponsor Powersauce Bars, starts up the mountain with two sherpas. They end up pulling him most of the way up the mountain as he sleeps. The second night, Homer wakes up mid-dragging when his pants fall down and vows to climb the rest of the way on his own.

In the low oxygen environment, Homer hallucinates floating to the top on a magic escalator, in the loving embrace of an abominable snowman, and in a fun-looking bubble. He wanders into a cave and finds a frozen C.W. McAllister along with his journal, which reveals that Abe Simpson stole his oxygen and took a bite out of his arm. He’s disheartened to find out that his dad was a failure just like Bart’s dad (him).

Unable to make it to the top, Homer hammers the Powersauce flag pole, now topped with the Simpsons flag from capture the flag, into the side of the mountain. A big crack forms and the top of the mountain falls right off, leaving Homer standing at the new top. He did it! Kiiiiind of. He rides the frozen corpse of McAllister down the mountain (really! Very gross!) and makes it home safe.

Want to get slightly buff and not die on a high mountain? Try Powersauce Bars and a workout regimen by Rainier Wolfcastle! I’m not a buff action star so I can’t help with the workout, but I’ve got a Powersauce Bar recipe for you. It contains apples x 3: applesauce, apples, and dried apples. It’s not quite a bushel, but it’s damn close. Think apple-cinnamon with a texture somewhere between a granola bar and a muffin. They’re great for a snack or grab-and-go breakfast. Unleash the power of apples!

Powersauce Bars
Based on Iowa Girl Eats
Makes 10 bars

2 1/2 cups rolled oats (divided)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup milk (or nondairy milk)
1/3 cup applesauce
1/4 cup maple syrup
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
5 tablespoons melted butter
1 tart apple, peeled and grated
1/3 cup dried apple, chopped

  1. Preheat the oven to 350 F. Line the bottom of an 8×8 or 9×9 pan with parchment, letting the paper hang off both sides.
  2. Place 3/4 cup of oats in a food processor or blender and pulse until oat flour forms. Add to a mixing bowl and combine with the remaining 1 3/4 cups oats, cinnamon, baking powder, and salt.
  3. In a large mixing bowl, combine the milk, applesauce, maple syrup, egg, and vanilla and whisk together.
  4. Add the dry ingredients and mix. Add the butter, grated apple, and dried apple and mix just until well combined. Pour into the lined pan and spread until even.
  5. Bake for 40-45 minutes until the edges are golden brown and the center is set. Let cool completely.
  6. Cut into bars and store in the fridge for up to 4 days.
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