The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

“The Boy Who Knew Too Much,” season 5 episode 20

Stuck in your house? Me too. Want to eat your feelings? Me too. Read on, dear Simpsons fan. I got you.

It’s a beautiful day and Bart can’t stand to go to school. Between the prison bus ride there and the new anti-slouching chairs, he’s over it. He gives Mrs. Krabapple a fake excuse and escapes. Principal Skinner is in hot pursuit, but is looking in all the wrong places (“no, it’s the children who are wrong”). Meanwhile, Bart is seeing dirty movies and bidding on art auctions.

Homer and Bart cross each other on the street both playing hookie. Skinner finds some gum on the sidewalk and uses it to track down Bart, Terminator-style (or some sort of “non-giving-up-school-guy”). Bart steals away in a Mayor Quimby’s nephew’s convertible and ends up at a fancy party.

While exploring, Bart finds the biggest rice krispie square in the kitchen he’s ever seen and takes a bite. Meanwhile, Freddy Quimby is accused of beating up a waiter for saying “chowda” wrong. Bart, hiding under a table, is the only witness and knows that he’s innocent.

The Simpsons, Principal Skinner, and others are at the trial. Mayor Quimby attempts to buy his nephew’s innocence in vain and Bart doesn’t want to come forward since scary Skinner will know he skipped school and send him to juvie. Homer’s a jury member and votes innocent just so they can stay in a swank hotel, get free food, and watch Free Willy.

Bart finally comes forward and reveals that the lawyer slipped all on his own and injured himself in a variety of disastrous slapstick ways. Freddy is set free and Skinner settles for sentencing Bart to four months detention.

This may not be a krispie treat the size of Volkswagen bug, but it is really big for a rice krispie square. It’s a whole pan’s worth made into one big mega square. I browned the salted butter before mixing the treats up for extra toasty flavor. It only takes a few more minutes and makes a big difference. Plus, this recipe only requires three ingredients, and they’re three that you can probably still find at the store. No one has to know if you eat the whole thing yourself, Homer-style.

I know Lenny and Carl weren’t there, but they’re good for scale.

Giant Brown Butter Rice Krispie Treat
based on the recipe by Smitten Kitchen

1 stick salted butter
1 (10-ounce) bag mini marshmallows
6 cups crispy rice cereal

  1. Grease an 8-inch square pan.
  2. Melt the butter in a large pot over medium-low heat. Once melted, stir (watching constantly) until the butter’s foam subsides and it is a nice brown, toasty color. Don’t walk away—it will burn if you go past the magic moment.
  3. Turn off the heat and immediately add the marshmallows. Stir until they melt, turning the heat back on to the lowest setting if needed.
  4. Add the cereal and stir well until completely mixed. Immediately add the mixture to the prepared pan and press into the sides and top to form a solid layer.
  5. Let cool for a few minutes until stable but still warm. Cut into four equal squares and stack on top of each other, carefully pressing them together to form a mega square.
  6. Take a bite!
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