The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

Pretty Exciting Celery Soup

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“The Springfield Connection,” season 6, episode 23

Marge is easily one of my favorite Simpsons characters, and just like with her family, she’s often underappreciated. That’s why this Marge-centric episode from season six is an all-time favorite. Plus, there’s soup!

“The Springfield Connection” begins with Homer and Marge watching a concert (with lasers!) before walking home through the bad part of town. Homer gets suckered into a game of three-card Monte with Snake and is immediately duped. Marge exposes Snake’s racket and exclaims “how dare you prey on the greedy and stupid like this” before pursuing him down an alleyway. Homer obviously can’t keep up and, when Snake pulls out a knife, she knocks him out with a trash can lid.

Later, Marge is making dinner when Lisa asks if “catching that guy the most incredible exciting thing you’ve ever done?” Marge replies “well, it was pretty exciting. But celery soup’s pretty exciting too!” She chops her celery with gusto, trying real hard to make it exciting.

Marge now finds her everyday life is lacking in excitement. She even rolls under the closing garage door before yelling MARGE! She walks into the police station and tells them she’s interested in becoming a police officer. They all laugh for a long, long time before Wiggum tells her “welcome aboard.” Turns out, it takes one solid weekend of training to become a cop. Marge goes through all of the drills including acing the target shooting exercise. In one of my favorite Simpsons moments, Wiggum walks up shaking his head “you missed the baby, you missed the blind man…”

Marge is a cop now! And she gets the Junkyville and Bumtown beat on her first day. Homer is having a poker night at his house with Moe, Carl, Lenny, Barney, and creepy army vet Herman. Homer brags about the perks of having a cop wife but then she shows up and finds them illegally gambling, chasing away his friends.

Marge starts to feel the weight of her job since everywhere she looks someone is breaking the law, including a horse not wearing a diaper. Then she spies a car very illegally parked and finds out its Homer. When she tries to get him to move the car, Homer humiliates her in public and she arrests him. “You have the right to remain silent.” “I choose to wave that right. WAHHHH!”

Homer is mad and complains at his next poker game. When he goes to the “garaaaaage” to get more beer, he gasps. “A counterfeit jeans ring running out of my car hole!” Herman points a gun at him but Marge shows up just in time. Herman steals away with Homer as hostage and Marge pursues. Milhouse and Grandpa pop out of the bushes like targets in shooting practice and Marge shoots Flanders’ witch decoration. After following them to the treehouse, Herman tries to escape but the shoddy stitching on the jeans rip.

Even with her expert policing, Marge quits due to all of the corruption on the force (they’re all wearing the counterfeit jeans). “Lookin’ good, boys.” And just like that, Marge’s glorious week(?) as a cop is over.

Celery soup! I hope you are pretty excited because as bland as it sounds, this soup is totally delicious. It’s easy to make, a great way to use up excess celery (maybe after Thanksgiving?), and is creamy and luxurious. It’s so much better than celery soup has any right to be. That’s pretty exciting!

Pretty Exciting Celery Soup
Inspired by an Epicurious recipe
Serves 3

1/2 stick butter
1 medium bunch celery, trimmed and chopped
1 small onion, diced
1 large white or yellow potato, peeled and cubed
2 cloves garlic, minced
Salt and pepper
3 cups chicken or vegetable broth
1/4 cup fresh parsley or dill (or a combination), chopped
1/4 cup sour cream or plain Greek yogurt

  1. Add the butter to a soup pot or large saucepan over medium heat. Once melted, add the celery, onion, potato, and garlic. Sauté for about 7 minutes, or until the onion is translucent. Season with salt and pepper.
  2. Add the broth and bring to a simmer. Cook for about 20 minutes, or until the potatoes and celery are tender.
  3. Add the herbs and sour cream or yogurt. Use an immersion blender or regular blender to purée the soup until smooth.
  4. Taste for seasoning. Serve hot and then go to the grocery and push your shopping cart into a big wheel of cheese.
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