The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

“Treehouse of Horror II,” season 3, episode 7

The first tale in season 3’s “Treehouse of Horror II” opens with Homer watching news about the presidential primaries and telling the TV “if you don’t like it, go to Russia.” 1991, folks. This timely comment, plus an excuse to make a turkey sandwich, pushed this episode to the top of my recipe list. And if you don’t like it, YOU can go to Russia!

Homer’s wish on a magic monkey paw brings us this month’s recipe: “I wish for a turkey sandwich … on rye bread … with lettuce and mustard. And … and! I don’t want any zombie turkey, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself, and I don’t want any other weird surprises. You got it?” And then the turkey is a little dry, and he’s enraged. Feel free to use moist turkey on your sandwich, life is short.

Read the rest of the article here and make your own floating turkey sandwich below.

Monkey Paw Turkey Sandwich 

Good-quality rye bread*
Hot mustard like Kosciusko or hot sweet mustard like Inglehoffer
Mayonnaise (optional)
Slightly dry but high quality deli turkey, thin-sliced
Curly leaf lettuce, rinsed and dried
Fresh tomato, sliced

Spread hot mustard on one piece of rye bread and spread mayonnaise on the other (if using). Layer turkey, lettuce, and tomato onto one slice and top with the other slice. Watch it float in your kitchen a moment before eating it.

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