The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

“She of Little Faith,” season 13, episode 6

That’s right, I said trash cookies! Weirder things have been eaten on this show, so let’s get into it.

While trying to persuade Lisa to celebrate Christmas with her family, Marge makes Christmas cookies. She pulls a tray of decorated cookies out of the oven, shows them to Lisa (who is definitely tempted), and then throws them in the trash. It’s pretty cruel, especially for Marge. Bart runs up exclaiming “Alright!! Trash cookies!” and eats several before choking on a dog food lid. So yes, let’s all make trash cookies for the remainder of the holiday season. I guess you could not throw them in the trash and just eat them, but then what kind of Simpsons fan are you?

Read the rest of the article about this season 13 episode here and get the recipe below.

Trash Cookies (Gingerbread Cut-outs)
Based on my original recipe on Serious Eats
Makes 40-60 cookies, depending on cookie cutter size

1/2 cup butter, room temperature
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup molasses
1 egg yolk
2 cup sifted flour
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground ginger
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

For the Icing:
2 cups powdered sugar
About 2 tablespoons lemon juice
Food coloring

  1. In a large bowl, cream butter and sugar until smooth. Mix in molasses and egg yolk until well mixed.
  2. In a separate bowl, combine the flour, salt, baking powder, baking soda and spices. Slowly add to butter mixture just until fully incorporated. Cover and chill your D’OH! at least 1 hour.
  3. Preheat to 350°F degrees. On a floured surface, roll out 1/2 of D’OH! to 1/4 inch thickness. Cut into desired shapes, repeat until all D’OH! is used. Place 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheets.
  4. Bake until just firm, or 8-10 minutes. Place on wire racks to cool completely.
  5. For the Icing: Add juice to powdered sugar until desired consistency. Separate into small bowls to add food coloring, and add to piping bags or zip-top bags with a small hole cut in one corner to decorate. Alternatively, spread icing using a knife.
  6. Throw in the trash.
  7. Eat.
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