The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

“Bart Sells His Soul,” season 7, episode 4

Have a birthday celebration coming up? Or literally anything to celebrate? May I present Million Dollar Birthday Fries! Ironically, there are few things more American than French fries. Add little American flags and a dollar sign sticking out of them and a couple of sparklers and you have an all-out celebration. This delicious treat appears on the menu of Uncle Moe’s Family Feed Bag in season 7’s “Bart Sells His Soul,” and every time someone orders these fries, Moe has to sing:

Here you go. Here I am, Uncle Moe
Thank you, ma’am
This’ll be a treat
Uncle Moe, here I am, while you eat!

Read the rest of the article here and make your own fry hat below.

Million Dollar Birthday Fries
Serves 1 birthday boy or girl

You’ll Need:
Frozen French fries (that include frying directions)
Oil like peanut, canola, or vegetable
Large, heavy pot or deep fryer
Food-safe thermometer
Large slotted spoon
Paper towels
Basket
String or strap
Towel
Little American flags
Dollar sign decoration (I made one)
Sparklers (optional)

  1. Fry those fries! Check the instructions on the back of your frozen fries and then keep them in the freezer until it’s frying time. If you are frying without a deep fryer, use a heavy, large pot and fill about 1/3 of the way with oil. Heat to the designated temperature (my bag said 350) and, using a slotted spoon or tongs, carefully lower a few spoonful of fries into the pot. It’s important not to drop the fries in, since the oil will definitely splash and it is very, very hot. It’s also important not to overfill your oil, since the frozen fries may cause the oil to pop. And it’s important not to add too many fries at one time, since they will lower the temperature of the oil and make your fries limp and disappointing.
  2. Fry for the designated amount of time and until crisp (mine took about 5 minutes), and use your slotted spoon to carefully remove your fries to a stack of paper towels. Add salt if needed.
  3. Make your million dollar basket! Use a long piece of string and weave it through one end of the bottom of the basket and through the other end. Use your head to gauge the length needed to fit comfortably around your head and tie the string securely. Even better if you have a strap of some kind (aren’t you fancy!).
  4. Line the basket with a towel and pour in your fries. Poke a few American flags in there and a big dollar sign and you’ve got the world’s best party hat. Sparklers optional, song is not.

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