The Joy of Cooking Milhouse

“Kamp Krusty,” season 4, episode 1

Dear Readers,

I no longer fear hell, ever since I drank that Flaming Moe (Homer). My Simpsons recipes were at risk of becoming a grim chore, akin to a Dickensian something or other. But I make it through the day by clinging to the hope that a recipe will turn out tasty. I’m not sure you’ll even read this, since it’s summer and you should be outside having fun (like at kamp or something!). So I begin this article with SWEET, NOURISHING GRUEL!


Read the rest of the article here and make your own gruel with the recipe below.

Non­Krusty Brand Imitation Gruel (AKA Blueberry and Chia Seed Brown Rice Porridge) 
Inspired by Sqirl’s Brown Rice Porridge with Hazelnuts and Jam 
Serves 4

1 cup short grain brown rice (or long grain brown rice, pulsed a few times in a food processor)
3 cups rice milk
1 cup water, plus extra
1 pinch salt
1/2 – 3/4 cup blueberries, frozen or fresh
1 tablespoon freshly ground chai seed
1/4 cup brown sugar
1 dash nutmeg
1/2 lemon

  1. Combine the rice, rice milk, water, and salt in a medium pan. Bring to a boil and reduce heat to a simmer. Cook, stirring every 5 to 10 minutes, for about 45 minutes.
  2. Add the blueberries, chai seeds, brown sugar, and nutmeg and stir. Simmer for another 15 to 20 minutes, until rice is very tender and the mixture is oatmeal-­like. Add a small amount of water if the mixture becomes too thick as it cooks.
  3. Add a large squeeze of lemon juice and stir, serve warm. Top with more blueberries and a dollop of yogurt if desired.
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